The papercuts of grief

This is a collage I made while grieving a different change in my life, it still feels applicable to this more intense grief now.

I’m thinking about grief today. How there is a version of grief that is small, ever-present - a whisper: ‘they aren’t here anymore’. It’s just always there, it will never go away, I think. The whisper sometimes gets louder, when I have to deal with their paperwork or whatever estate related task gets completed - one more step away from them. It’s hard to do the one million tasks by myself, each step a papercut, a pinch of my heart. One day all this paperwork will be done, things will be complete and in their new places - and that will really hurt. Making progress means going away from them. They are really gone. It is surprising how much I can know that and not know that at the same time.